Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Attractive Women Who Could Kick You At Something Manly

Women have historically been seen as the "fairer sex" and their physical accomplishments are often overshadowed by their male counterparts. But let's get something straight: there are plenty of women out there who are not only attractive but who are pretty damn good at a sport or profession that's normally seen as "manly." So the next time you think of women as the weaker sex, take a look at the following examples and wallow in the disgusting pool of your own wrongness.


Natsuko
Natsuko "Gal" Sone- Competitive Eating


Eating mass quantities of food extremely fast seems to be custom tailored for fat dudes. Surprisingly, the real landscape of Major League Eating defies that. There's eaters like Takeru Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut, who look and act like regular dudes but can somehow also consume almost 70 hotdogs in 12 minutes. Natsuko "Gal" Sone (pictured in the middle) is not like these men. No, Natsuko is a Japanese TV personality and pop singer who weighs in at a teensy 96 lbs. So while her tiny frame and high pitched voice may have you thinking this girl couldn't finish a garden salad, she'd eat more sushi in one sitting than you will in one year. And she'll look much hotter than you while doing it.



Danica McKellar - Math
Danica McKellar - Math


Remember the Wonder Years? Remember Winnie Cooper and how you totally had a crush on her, and how you wished she'd stop messing around with that loser Kevin Arnold and transfer to your school so you could be her boyfriend and carry her books to class for her? Yeah, us too. Well, guess what? Winnie Cooper, or rather Danica McKellar, the actress who played her, is all grown up and she is freaking hot. But what's most surprising is that she's also a total brainiac, having graduated summa cum laude from UCLA with a degree in mathematics. That's right: Ms. McKellar excels in a field that, for a long time, was considered too complex for the relatively "simple" brains of women. It makes your math skills seem almost "elementary" by comparison, doesn't it, Einstein?




Jennie Finch - Softball
Jennie Finch - Softball


99% of the male population will never play in the major leagues. Most of us mortals just don't have the hand-eye coordination and the strength necessary to see, much less hit, a major league fastball nor do we have the speed or the dexterity to field a position. However, there is hope in the form of softball. This toned down version of the big league sport is simple enough that most of us can play it at least on a recreational level. And we bet most of you think that if you ever found yourself face to face with a female pitcher, you could point out into the stands and call your shot because this baby is going, going, GONE, right? Well, if you ever went up against Jennie Finch, chances are you'd probably strike out on three straight pitches. We really can't decide what this former All-American and Olympic Gold Medalist's greatest weapon is: Is it her smoking hotness or her smoking fastball, which tops out at 71 mph-in baseball terms, that's the equivalent of a 100 mph heater. No wonder she's struck out a total of 1,028 batters in her career. You want to step in to the batter's box and see if you can avoid being number 1,029? Didn't think so.




Jeanette Lee - Pool
Jeanette Lee - Pool


Pool is the Steve McQueen of sports: it's classic, timeless and utterly cool. And it's also pretty freaking manly. Pool invokes images of smoky bars and rough and tumble types with tattoos burning time until they have to call their parole officers. But there are a ton of accomplished female pool players out there who could run the table in the time it'd take most guys to line up a single shot. If we were going to be humiliated at a game of pool, we'd want it to be at the hands of Jeanette "The Black Widow" Lee. Supremely skilled and ridiculously attractive, this top pro is as deadly as her nickname implies. Your best bet for beating her? Break and hope you sink the 8-ball right off the bat, because if you let her near the table, chances are, you won't get another shot.




Paula Creamer - Golf
Paula Creamer - Golf


Is there any sport that's more "male" than golf? Not manly-football, baseball, hockey, hell any sport with physical contact is manlier than golf. But the sport of golf is so steeped in the "male" culture that it's hard not to see it as sport for men. And talk about a boy's club: there are still golf clubs in America that won't allow women to join! But if those idiots who are in charge of those misogynistic institutions got a look at Paula Creamer, we're sure they'd relax those outdated membership laws. But not just because she's as pretty as a Tiger Woods tee shot right down the center of the fairway-she's also an accomplished golfer who has 8 major wins under her belt as well as the 2005 LPGA's Rookie of the Year award on her mantle. A female golfer who's hot and can help you with your (putting) stroke? What's not to love?


Jinx - Video Games
Jinx - Video Games


For a long time, video games have been a male dominated industry. While women are rapidly catching up, men still spend more money and time on video games than women do. But that doesn't necessarily mean men better at them. There are some professional female video gamers who can dominate any online match they find themselves in, no matter who they're playing against, which only further dispels the notion that video games are just for guys. If we could pick, we'd personally love to play a few online matches of Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4 with Jinx of the Frag Dolls (pictured on the right); not only is she hot, but she would totally pull her weight when things got heavy. Hell, if anything, we'd probably hold her back with our bumbling fingers.




Allison Stokke - Pole Vaulting
Allison Stokke - Pole Vaulting


Allison may have just started her collegiate track career, but she's vaulted (sorry) into the national spotlight due to her amazing ability in the gutsiest of track sports--pole vaulting. Here's a woman who will toss her body 12 feet up into the air on multiple occasions every day without an ounce of fear. We predict Olympic success for this high-flying hottie. At least we hope so, so we can ogle her in HD.




Maria Sharapova - Tennis
Maria Sharapova - Tennis


Before you slap the obvious tag on this one, consider this: Maria Sharapova is freaking hot and you shouldn't complain about getting an opportunity to think about how hot she is. Ever. Besides, unlike a certain other hot female tennis player, Sharapova is actually capable of winning a few matches every now and again. And she sure as hell could beat you in a match. Have you ever seen her forehand smash? It's vicious. On a relate note, what is it with hot female tennis players whose last names end in -va anyway? Sharapova, Hantuchova, Kournikova, Dementieva, Cibulkova, Vaidisova-the list goes on.




Gracie - MMA
Gracie - MMA


Mixed martial arts is the new hotness right now and it's easy to see why: it's fast, brutal and bloody. And it takes a special breed of person to step into an octagon and proceed to try and beat the holy hell out of another human being. Sure, men, with their violent reptilian brains, are suited to this but women, who are supposed to soft, gentle and nurturing, aren't, right? Do you ever get sick of being wrong? There are a lot of female MMA fighters out there and they could take you apart like a fat man dismantling a whole roasted chicken. If we ever had to walk down a dark alley, we'd take Kyra Gracie with us. Not only is she hot, but she's a deadly fighter who holds a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and has won several world championships. Oh, she also belongs to the Gracie clan-yes, that Gracie clan-so not only could she beat you up, but her entire family could as well.



Force - Racing
Force - Racing


Is there any sport that's more "male" than racing? Oh wait, we already used that line. But auto racing is also a quintessential "male" sport. Think about it: guys in the garage, tinkering with their tools then taking their cars out on the track and tearing around, all the while wasting gas and polluting the environment. God, it makes the hair on our chest stand up straight just thinking about it. But have you ever seen professional NASCAR and NHRA drivers? Yikes. Aside from Dale Jr., who we guess is sort of not terribly un-good looking, professional male racecar drivers have us wondering what else is on TV. But not so with female racecar drivers-while their male counterparts leave much to be desired, female racecar drivers are, for some odd reason, ridiculously hot. And while everyone's fixated on NASCAR driver Danica Patrick, we'd rather ride shotgun with the much hotter NHRA driver Ashley Force. She's got the balls to compete professionally in drag races and once beat her own dad--also a pro racer--in a competition. Kinda makes your automobile exploits seem a little lame, doesn't it? Yeah, that triple-lane change that you pulled off during rush hour traffic yesterday is way impressive, dude. Oh yeah, and getting your Honda up to 80 on the highway that one time? Totally rad.

2 comments:

  1. They can't out eat Dave "US Male" Goldstein - the World Record Holder in Crawfish Eating.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gal Sone can't beat the great Dave "US Male" - the crawfish eating world record holder

    ReplyDelete