Saturday, September 30, 2006

Bear Illusion


At the first glance, you may look there is one bear in this beautiful background. But, there are some bears which are hidden somewhere.
I could only see 8 bears. What about you? Can you see more than 8? I am sure there are more much that 8. Tell me how many can you find

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Four Legged Chicken


Four legged chick was found by Ryan Dickey, 10 at his home in New Zealand where 14 types of chicken are bred. The little clucker is a Barnevelder chicken and the chick uses its bottom two legs to walk. The other four legged chickens has also been reported in Romania and Saudi Arabia. The family intend keeping the chick as a pet and is considering naming it Jack-Peg-a-leg.

Anything

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

Pharmaceutical Understanding

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you cannot have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Call From Hell

Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Robert Mugabe died & went straight to hell.

Queen Elizabeth II said "I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Five million dollars" She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

George Bush was so jealous, he began screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 10 minutes, then he asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Robert Mugabe was even more jealous & started screaming, "I want to call Zimbabwe, I want to see how everybody is doing there. I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody". He called Zimbabwe and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "One dollar". Mugabe is stunned & says "One dollar??? Only one lousy dollar??" The Devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's local"

No Mail

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his blonde neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.

A little later she came out of his house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which the blonde replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

Blind Date

Joe took his blind date to the carnival.

"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

"I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.
"I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early,
dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

In Hell

Demon: Why so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!
Demon: It's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and Fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great!

Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You know it!
Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie- you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why, yes I do.
Demon: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean?...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: WOW !! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy: No....
Demon: "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."

Painful Break Up

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.

So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women that he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note:

"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back."

Prison vs Work

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make
things a little bit clearer.

IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell.
AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK............you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...........you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON..........they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you aren't even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON.........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK............you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK ...........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON .........you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...........they are called managers.

Read This Damn Funny

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone
Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
travelling in Australia?"

Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'
fell off".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland
".
----------------------------------------------------------------------

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
on".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my
file back again?".

----------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.

" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
Bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!

Why Women Cry


A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

"When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Never take some one for granted,Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones." Remember this always in life.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Funny Mission Impossible

MI 3

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Little Thing


Here is a collection of little things pictures By Cynthia Greig







Remote control

1. For woman only


Colouring Picture In Photoshop


Today I am about to tell you very simple but yet very effective technique to color your or any other foto in photoshop.
1. Open grayscale (b/w) picture in photoshop
2. select the area by select wizard tool of that picture
3. copy the selection "as new layer"

World wrestling federation


No.1 wrestler in India
The evil , monster , hulk , savage , murder , killer , hummer

Thursday, September 21, 2006

What a beautiful peacock!!!

Traditionally, if anyone saw white peacock, your fortune turned better!


This is really true.White peacock is the resemble of good luck.Ppl are ready to pay lakhs of rupees to get just one feather of this peacock.One way to recognise its genuineness is that its shadow forms on the same side from where the light comes i.e on the opposite side of where it is supposed to form.This is true.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

New Boats in AbuDhabi


Wow Amazing Boats

My new keyboard


It's the next generation of computer keyboards

Are you my daddy


He need a father, and his mother needs a man
Daddy where are you?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Amazing Inspirational









Monday, September 18, 2006

What is your Japanese Name?

What is your Japanese name? Take each letter of your name and substitute it with the Japanese sound to the right of the letter.

A- ka
B- tu
C - mi
D - te
E - ku
F - lu
G - ji
H - ri
I - ki
J - zu
K - me
L - ta
M - rin
N - to
O - mo
P - no
Q - ke
R - shi
S - ari
T - chi
U - do
V - ru
W - mei
X - na
Y - fu
Z - zi
Mine Name : Lukushimozi What Your's

Sunday, September 17, 2006

First ophthalmologic investigation


Serious ophthalmologic investigation:
What you see ?

Fat ugly killer bride


If she is getting married it's hope for all women.

Solar Flare Funny Theory


Solar Flare Funny Theory ? There is not a such thing...
But do you know a better way to look to the sun ?

Friday, September 15, 2006

'New rare bird' spotted in India



A new species of bird has been discovered in the north-east of India, according to an ornithological journal.

Indian Birds said the rare species has been named Bugun Liocichla - only 14 of these birds are known to exist.

The bird has olive plumage with a distinctive black cap and red, black and white patches on its wings.

The journal said that the small bird had been first spotted by an Indian astronomer more than 10 years ago in Arunachal Pradesh state.

But it was not until May this year that astronomer Ramana Athreya managed to find it again in the Eaglenest wildlife sanctuary in the state and confirm the discovery of a new species.

Ornithologists say the bird's closest relative appears to be another rare Liocichla species found in only a few mountains in central China.

Liocichla are members of the diverse bird family known as babblers.

In June, a quail believed to have been extinct for nearly 80 years was rediscovered by a prominent ornithologist in the north-eastern Indian state of Assam.

The grey-and-black streaked quail was spotted by wildlife specialist Anwaruddin Choudhury in Assam's Manas national park.


Friday, September 8, 2006

Winter Sucks

This family decided to use the snow to emphasize how much they hate winter.


This family decided to use the snow to emphasize how much they hate winter.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Drink Coke

A man standing in front of a Coke ad in a suggestive manner

What is she drinking?

Sunday, September 3, 2006

Bra Snap Contest





In this contest, three men compete to see who can unsnap the most bra straps in 30 seconds using just one hand...