When Someone Insults You: 12 Neat Comebacks

Have you ever been taken by surprise when someone insulted you? Were you at a loss for words?

Put-down artists count on the element of surprise when launching insulting remarks. Master these comebacks and put put-down artists in their place.

When someone insults you, look him or her slowly up and down and come back with:

1. “Have you always been this way?” (They'll be left wondering what you mean.).
2. “Are you on medication for that?” Shake your head sadly.
3. “By the way, I've heard of a program for people like you. It's called Effective Communication Skills.”
4. Give them a pitying look and ask if you can get them an aspirin.
5. “Do you always mask insults with humor?”
6. Pat them on the shoulder and say: “It's obvious you are under stress. Is there anything I can do?”
7. Mention an acquaintance of yours who is always putting others down and make the observation that people who do this suffer from low self-esteem.
8. Thank the person profusely for pointing out what's wrong with you and lay it on thick until they get uncomfortable.
9. Laugh (purposely misunderstand them) and tell them that you are going to tell all your friends about their remark.
10. Give a big yawn and glance at your watch. (They see that their remark didn't get a reaction.).
11. “We are so alike in some ways, aren't we?” (This is particularly effective if someone has made an insulting remark about your weight.).
12. Ask the person to repeat what they just said. Then ask them to enlarge on it. Tell them you still don't quite get it and keep asking for more details.

Blind Mechanic Diagnoses Car Problems By Smell

A mechanic in Deerfield Beach can smell trouble in the cars that come into his shop.

After losing his eyesight three years ago, Daniel Moncada relies on his senses of smell and touch to figure out what's wrong with a car's engine.

Moncada lost sight in both eyes from a rare and aggressive deterioration of his retinas. It cost him work in construction and Web design.

Family members help run the mechanic shop he owns now, King Motors of South Florida. His mother runs the sales department, his mother-in-law does upholstery for cars and his wife oversees engine and vehicle inspections.

Schoolgirl's Guide to Teenage Slang

A school girl from Britain has written a guide to teenage slang for confused parents.

Lucy van Amerongen, 13, penned The A-Z of Teen Talk after her parents complained they couldn’t follow her conversations with pals – and a publisher snapped it up.

Now Lucy, who goes to posh private school Cheltenham Ladies’ College, is “stoked” (very happy) because sales of her “nang” (cool) book are “owdish” (excellent).

Her guide includes 300 teen words such as “antwacky” (unstylish), “cotch down” (sleep), “rago” (OK) and “zip” (yob).

It also includes her three golden teen talk rules – never make eye contact when talking to a “mouldie” (parent), always mumble inaudibly, and try to include “like” in every sentence.

Lucy, of Box, Gloucs, said: “I hope the book clears up confusion. Some parents don’t give teenagers enough credit for some of the words they use. More come up every day and a lot are very creative.”

Meet artist Steven Kutcher the bugs painter

The 63-year-old, who uses insects as living paintbrushes, dips the insects in paint, places them on a blank canvas and lets their movement create a string of colourful paintings.Artist Steven Kutcher of Los Angeles, who paints with moths, beetles, spiders, flies, honey bees, butterflies, grasshoppers - and even Hissing Cockroaches from Madagascar.

Mr Kutcher, a keen environmentalist, who has a master's degree in entomology, said: "I can switch colours and even insects to create the effect I am looking for. If a bug is sensitive to light, I can influence its movement on the canvas by controlling the lighting. Insects have different footprints and behaviours so I use both my entomological and artistic knowledge to create fine works of art."

"I use water-based, nontoxic gouache paints which easily wash off. I have to take good care of them. After all, they are artists," he added.




Living paintbrush: One of Steven's beetles.



The Bug Picture: Another masterpiece?


The man behind the magic: Steven Kutcher.


Arty: Another masterpiece from Van Moth.


Bright spark: Steven's canvas is awash with primary colours.

How to Impress Your Boss

This employee knows how he can make his boss think he's a hardworking guy.

If You Really Want To Touch Somebody

Amusing advertisement by Australian Post delivering the message that ‘If you really want to touch someone, send them a letter’. In this digital age, email has taken over much over post mail and writing a letter would definitely be more touching.

Biggest Mooncake Weights 13 Tons

The mooncake, with a diameter of 8.15 meters and height of 20 cm, has a total surface area of 52 sq meters and was baked in a specially prepared big oven, with a diameter of 9 meters.Ten cooks of a super food market in Shenyang, northeast China's Liaoning province spent ten hours on finishing the 13-ton giant mooncakes, with ten types of different flavored stuffings, including white lotus seeds, red bean paste and pineapple.

Sumo competition the youngsters wrestling to earn top place

They may be normal-sized young lads, but these boys have aspirations to be the biggest - literally - and the best.

They may not have the bulk of their adult counterpatrs, but they are attending a Sumo-wrestling competition in Tokyo to earn promotion to a higher rank.

The keen youngsters are among 300 Japanese wrestlers taking part in the annual competition, which is popular with sporting fans across the country.

The Japanese consider Sumo a modern martial art, even though the sport has a history spanning back several centuries.

The competitors attempt to heave each other out of the ring and the first boy to touch the ground with any part of his body other than the soles of his feet loses the bout, which typically lasts less than a minute.

Amazing sand art in action

Its time for youto see some sand art in action.

Tips How to look Happy at work

How to look Happy at work

As of today all personnel will be expected to look happy at work. Rubber bands and paper clips will be provided at no cost
Workload getting to you?
Feeling stressed?
Too many Priority 1 assignments?

Here is the new low cost way to cope with multiple Priority 1 assignments!

Take 2 paperclips and rubber bands.


Assemble them as shown on the picture


Apply as shown picture


Enjoy your day.
This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of the day with a smile on your face!

Soap shaped like little hand

This is actual soap.
shaped like little hands!
each ‘hand’ is hand made.
wash your hands with hands.
the soaps range from 1/2” to 2”.
it’s goat’s milk glycerin & has a light scent.
really quite lovely!
comes in a pretty bag… all ready for gifting to a friend with dirty paws!

World's biggest colossal squid

In Antarctica's Ross Sea, a fishing boat has caught what is likely the world's biggest known colossal squid, New Zealand officials announced.

Heavier than even giant squid, colossal squid (Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni) have eyes as wide as dinner plates and sharp hooks on some of their suckers. The new specimen weighs in at an estimated 990 pounds (450 kilograms).

The sea monster had become entangled while feeding on Patagonian toothfish caught on long lines of hooks. The crew then maneuvered the squid into a net and painstakingly hauled it aboard—a two-hour process.

The animal was frozen and placed in a massive freezer below decks. Now in New Zealand, the carcass awaits scientific analysis.

The deep-sea species was first discovered in 1925, though the only evidence was two tentacles found in a sperm whale's stomach. Since then there have been only a scattering of sightings, including a colossal squid caught in 2003 in the same region as the recent find.
The new specimen is likely the first intact male ever recovered, Anderton said.
vai

Human Gaming Chair

A kid playing video games in a store while he sits on the back of his crouching buddy.

How did he talk his friend into doing this?

Man Likes Tight Jeans

A man walking down the street wearing a pair of jeans that are way too tight for him

Someone please buy this guy a mirror!

Late Night Snack

A cat hiding in the refridgerator.

What the hell are you looking at?